I Crashed the SNL 40th Anniversary Party, Lorne, Please Forgive Me

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I crashed the SNL party last Sunday, lived to tell my story on xoJane and am still having residual awesomeness tremors from going.

You can read the whole story about how I did it and see some pictures here.

The story got such wonderful feedback (thank you so much everyone for your kind words and warm response!) that I am toying with the idea of starting a crash podcast and blog. Where are some places / parties you’d love to crash or see get crashed?

If you’re in NYC, come see me host my variety show in drag next Wed Feb 25 at The Stand comedy club, with Christian Finnegan, Jessica Kirson, Dan Soder, Judah Friedlander and more.

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Happy Valentine’s Day, Everyone

Hello lovers, I hope you all had a groovy Valentine’s Day. It cracks me up annually that the initials of Valentine’s Day are V.D., because it’s so true, everyone’s got one. Did you know that more than 50% of Americans have herpes? This sentence brought to you by Valtrex, or whatever that drug is called. What is the singular of herpes? Herpie? That sounds like a gym teacher’s last name. I have never had visible signs of herpes but I must have it. I mean, I live in NYC. I think when you move here, it comes in your welcome kit, along with the keys to your over priced walk up studio apartment. Still, I prefer to say Happy and not Heppy Valentine’s Day. But enough of that.

The reason I am writing today is to share some home made valentine candies I made. I found a site where you can “make your own”. You can choose your own color and you get up to 8 characters. Here are mine:

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I had a pretty lousy Valentine’s day. Besides the fact that I got to perform and got paid for it, which is always a BLESSING (announced very dramatically breathily with a sideways head tilt for effect)(p.s. want to catch my next show? visit the calendar), my poor valentine was sick with the flu so no boom boom for this baby san.

I could go on a little more about how I thought I lost my laptop in a cab or how the true highlight of my evening was eating a Pies & Thighs donut or about how I’m opening up a 1600 square foot music school, store and venue in a few weeks but I’ll save it all for another time.

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Ladies Street Harass The Fellas In Search Of Quality Dick Pics

In this video, a group of my lady comedian pals set about to see if we can get any guys to take some “classy” dick pics in our state of the art dick custom made pic photo booth in Gramercy Park, NYC. This is what happens. Starring Dava Krause, Coree Spencer, Heather Bunch. Filmed by Bill Scurry and Alex M.

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Doctors Without Borders Fundraiser this Wed, Nov. 19 with Fred Armisen, Jim Gaffigan, David Cross, Janeane Garofalo, Regina Spektor and many more

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This Wednesday, join Jena Friedman and Greg Barris for the Doctors Without Borders fundraiser at Irving Plaza in NYC, which they’ve put together to help bring relief to West Africa ebola victims. Doors at 6:30 PM, show starts at 7 PM.

For $60 you can not only enjoy a great comedy and music show featuring too many great acts to even list (I will be performing a little bit of music on the show as well), but you can also help a worthy cause. For $110 tickets, you will get admission to the VIP after party to follow. I say go for it and splurge, plunk down the extra $50 and hob nob with the city’s funniest cool kids. Get your tickets here now. Read more about the show here.

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#TBT To Beat The Band: Here I Am, Immortalized Lurking Behind Joan Rivers

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An old pal of mine from Maine found this photo taken at Michael Musto’s 50th birthday party (by David Shankbone) and sent it to me tonight. I wasn’t expecting to see it, and it took me back to a time when I shared the planet with one of the world’s greatest comedians. It almost looks like I have stink face in the photo, but that’s just my face. I photograph like my face is broken, every time. The truth of it is, I was in awe and admiration that I was getting to stand so close to this comedy idol. We share a birthday – June 8th – and I always felt a special connection to Joan Rivers. I met her at IFC (Tanya O’Debra took me to see her documentary, “A Piece of Work” and she came to the screening. She was so kind to me and to everyone there. She gave me comedy advice and stayed around to talk to everyone and shake all our grubby, desperate hands. I’m so happy to have this photo and though I only got to meet her a couple times and briefly at that, I will miss her for the rest of my days.

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Thanks to the internet, I got to talk to Megan Amram today

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Dava Krause as a dude in our little video shoot.

This morning, I woke early. I exited my apartment to find that the weather was pleasant; warm as a hooker’s laurels, in fact. I skedaddled to the subway as fast as my legs could make my bike take me and hustled out to Bushwick to arrive 15 minutes early to meet a friend, comedian Dava Krause to film a video for our internet based show, “28 Rulz of the Internet“. It went well and was fun and easy. The end.

Then, I shared a cab back to Manhattan with the director. His name is Shane. He is pretty bad ass. I forgot to tell the driver to take the outside lane so I had to boogie back to my office from a little further away, but I made it in time to do a sound check for a Huffington Post Live segment where I would be allowed to ask Megan Amram a question.

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Megan Amram is pretty funny, confirms most of the internet.

Ha! Jokes on them, I asked two. You can see the full interview here. If you don’t know who Megan Amram is, ask Uncle Google, OK? She’s a Twitter success story with a bajillion followers. She has gotten job upon job from being funny on Twitter (such as a writing job on Parks and Recreation) and now she has a book out called, “Science For Her!” I’ve been doing comedy for 14 years. I’ve been pitching a book for the past several weeks and have gotten about 10 big fat “go fuck yourself”‘s. But I have two potential publishers who are still thinking about it, so my fingers are crossed so hard they are doing something like rug-burning each other.

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Megan Amram, my new boss

Suffice to say, since Megan and I are both super funny and super successful, we hit it off super well. She hired me on the spot with no samples or credentials to write for her new TV show called “Pussy” on Comedy Central which hasn’t started yet and may never start. Amy Schumer apparently battled it out with Comedy Central to be able to say “pussy” on her show because you can say “dick” and that’s fine, and she WON. So now, it’s cool to say “pussy” on Comedy Central, and I’m pretty excited about that because this. So now that I have a big time comedy writing job for a TV show called “Pussy” that Megan Amram is starting that may or may not and more on the not side will ever actually happen, life is pretty great and all my problems are solved. The end again. In fact, I like the idea of having a show called “Pussy”, and since Megan is super busy, I think I’m going to just start it, and if and when Megan comes around and wants to get involved, I’ll have already started it up for her.

Last of all, yesterday I roasted Fred the Elephant Man, a wack packer from The Howard Stern Show at the Comic Strip in NYC which was a cross between one of the most fun and saddest nights ever. But, how could it be both, you didn’t ask? I guess you would just had to have been there. I’m going to upload a video of my set soon, so turns out, you didn’t necessarily have to be there. A good time and a lot of straight up LOL’s were had by all. OK, the end, again, this time, for real.

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L: I basically verbally shit all over a poor schlub with a speech impediment on his birthday for fun because someone asked me to
R: Mike Lawrence and the audience seem super entertained and possibly also a bit ashamed by whatever is going on

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L: Meatloaf–I mean Nicole Bass showed up for the roast
R: Fred and me hang out before the show

Check out my calendar for this week’s shows and let’s be friends on Twitter and Facebook and iTunes.

 

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I Wore A Hazmat Suit on a Plane from JFK to LAX And Here’s What Happened

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I flew from JFK to LAX last Wed Oct. 23rd wearing a hazmat suit on the plane. Read all about what happened here, on xoJane.com.

Please donate money to Doctors Without Borders if you haven’t already, and if you already have, please do it again, if you can. Stopping the spread of Ebola at it’s start is the best way to keep it from spreading any more, and donating money to the cause will help to get and keep the resources and people that need to be there, there.

If you are in NYC, please consider going to this awesome benefit.

Lastly, if you’re going to say some shit like, “she’s making Ebola all about her”,
Ebola IS all about me. And it’s all about you and everyone else, too.

I’m a comedian and an artist, and a performer and an activist, and a witch and a big sister and a (harmless) weirdo, and this is what I do.

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I’m tenaciously trying to win Tenacious D’s Festival Supreme theme song contest

 

JD St Marks Theater
What does one do upon returning from a successful 2 week UK tour to a massive city where she falls through the cracks like an ant trying to maneuver the Manhattan sidewalk? She waits til no giant feet appear to be coming and runs into a crevice called comedy. Doing comedy in NYC is like being a cigarette butt in the ocean. There are shit tons of them and only a few cigarette butts actually wash up onto the shore. Several exes have told me that my analogies suck but I still make my attempts.
Doing comedy in a giant mega city has it’s challenges, but there’s still something very comforting about it or else I wouldn’t have been doing it for all these years. But lately L.A. has been whispering to me. I went there last March to film a segment in Dr. Demento’s documentary and I enjoyed the city so much, I knew it wouldn’t be long before I’d be back.
Thurs, Oct. 23, in fact, is when I’ll head back, to do a show at Comedy Central Stages, featuring a bunch of material from my new album, “Songs To Make War To: 14 Anarchist Anthems For The Whole Family”. I also have a new batch of funderwear, because I sold out of all the ones I made for my tour. (Yesss!) Tickets are free and the details are on my calendar.
Another reason I’m going to L.A. is because I really want to go enjoy Festival Supreme, a comedy music festival that Tenacious D created a year after I started the NY Funny Songs Fest.

Festival Supreme Theme Logo

Their festival is what mine was supposed to be, but they have oh so much money and so many more way better connections than I do. For the past two years, I’ve been dreaming up ways to get into that festival. If only I had a good agent, maybe they could make a plea for me. But I don’t. I considered emailing them myself as I do for all my bookings, but decided against it. Then this year, they opened a festival theme song contest. Many people entered, myself being one of them. Today I started in last place and I am now in 4th place. But I need your votes, and I need a lot of them. And I really want to win. The person in the lead has twice as many votes as I do.
I used to win contests a lot, like I was finalist in the Andy Kaufman Award contest twice, and I won the Emerging Comedians NY comedy contest, and I won a Village Voice Choice award, and I was a finalist on ABC’s Good Morning America Make Us Laugh All Night Long (which actually was filmed during the day…) but I guess in general, I haven’t been as contest-y as I used to be. I am crossing my fingers and hoping for a big win here, though, because it sounds like it’d be an awesome thing to win.
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I am going to Festival Supreme whether I win or not, but it’d be extra fun to be there as a performer, not some hot dog eating “punter” as the Brits call them.
Here is my video link. Please pardon my shamelessness, but maybe you can vote for me and ask everyone in your office and in your family to vote for me. The girl’s video who is in the lead was featured on a pretty big comedy website and so I guess I gotta up my game–just sitting around hoping that my song is the best one is obviously not going to be the way to win this thing.
Here is a direct link to my entry song and video:

 Go on, share it on Facebook and Twitter and stuff. You know ya wanna. And thank you.

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UK Tour Diary


JD Frome

Screen grab of a photo by David Goodman

I recently returned from a successful jaunt across the pond to the UK where I went to promote my new CD, “Songs To Make War To: 14 Anarchist Anthems For The Whole Family”. I performed at The Comedy Store, End of the Road Festival and at a church (!) in Frome, Somerset, near Stone Henge. To help support the tour, I made and sold panties with my song lyrics on them. I was lucky to get some great press before and during the trip from BUST and TheGloss.com which really helped get the word out there.

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Who needs Kickstarter when you’ve got fancy fanny frocks? (Fun fact: In the UK, fanny means vagina. Also, fag means cigarette, lift means elevator, loo means toilet, etc., but you already knew all of that because you are a sophisticated traveler and so well read!)

What? You MUST own a pair? Here’s a listing on Etsy and they will be up in my store soon.
Also, here’s a link to the new CD to download for FREE. It’s also available on Pandora.
(It’s mostly NSFW depending on where you W)
And, what’s that? You want to see photos from the tour? I hear ya! You can check them out here on Facebook.
If you have any suggestions of feminist empowered stores or boutiques in your neck of the woods that might want to carry my funderwear, or journalists or websites that might be interested in receiving a press release, please let me know.
I didn’t see this cat this time, but maybe next time.

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CD cover artwork by Alex M. Smith

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CD! Each one is handmade and one of a kind. Just like me.

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Early version of the panties

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My visit to the Vacationland: High School reunion and Maine Comedy Festival

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Holy crikies, what a wonderful past couple weeks it’s been.

I zipped up to Maine last week to visit my alma mater (does that work for high school and college?) and have my high school reunion with my fellow Lincoln Eagles. It was really trippy hanging out with all these people I used to know as kids. Some looked really great and some looked…well…beaten about a bit by life. But it was great to see them all.

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My home town, Damariscotta, Maine

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We got a tour of our old high school, which was petrifying and thrilling all at once.

 

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Here I am, sitting on “the wall” with Beth Souza, well before Game of Thrones. My old high school pals Cara and Gwen had a great time, because there was alcohol.

After the tour, we had a little reception and then moved to a nearby restaurant where one of my old classmates pulled some schemes and got me up on stage to perform. I have a video of it and I may even post it. I didn’t want to perform, I was scared to get on stage in front of my classmates for some reason. But ultimately, I’m glad I did. My old pal Sumner then took the stage and played some songs on guitar while I sang. It was ethereal. The fish and chips wasn’t bad, either.

 

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Class of ’94

My husband and I camped out because I missed the boat on getting a cabin by waiting too long. So we slept in a tent on the ground, which was actually quite fabulous, until it started pouring rain. But before the torrential showers, we’d picked up lots of goodies from Trader Joe’s and cooked up a couple pretty dope meals over open fires we started with ease. I still got it! The site we were camped in had a spread of mushrooms, everywhere–dozens of different types and colors surrounded the tent.

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L: Don’t know what it is, but wouldn’t eat it.
R: Am pretty sure what it is (psilocybin?) but still wouldn’t eat it.


I went to the library to teach a ukulele class and while I was there, I grabbed a mushroom identity book. I seriously think I ID’d psilocybin but there was no way I was going to test it. Been there, done that, done. I just looked at the pretty things and pretended I was a mycologist for 15 minutes. 

We drove around the midcoast area and enjoyed the sights in our rental car.

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L: Hazy early morning old timey car in Bristol,
R: view of Christmas Cove in South Bristol (they get good pot there)

I love driving. I spotted a VW Vanagon bus and asked how much — $12,000! Youch. I fell in love with the old thing but yikes. If anyone has a VW bus they’d like to donate to my festival, I will write you a charitable tax deduction receipt. Let’s tawk.

IMG_4786Want a tax deductible receipt for your VW Bus? Call me.

We stopped at a giant pile of garbage and bought a bunch of it, as I like to do. I got some cool vintage clothing and a unicorn pin. Once the rain began coming down, we split and headed back to NYC to wait it out.

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Only $3, good deal, right?!

A few days later, I hopped into a car with a couple strangers and headed north to Bethel, ME where Sunday River is located, to romp about in the Maine Comedy Festival.

IMG_4831Not the car I hopped into.

It was so much fun, way more so than your typical comedy event, and I love comedy and festivals. On Thursday night, we arrived at the large Bethel Inn and Resort which immediately gave off a haunted vibe, just in time to play poker, which I promptly lost at.

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L: Excellent booze slinger. R: Excellent poker player.

Mark from Sobieski vodka, the fest’s sponsor was there buying me lots more alcohol than I’m supposed to drink on a school night. I stumbled to my room and crashed out, late. 

The next day, I got up early and had a wonderful hotel breakfast on par with the 4 Seasons. My new comedian pals and I played shuffleboard and tennis, then we went and jumped into a pristine lake. I swam far from one dock to the next and baked in the sun like a warm seal. Later, we watched half our peers do their show, which was fantastic. I now have 5-7 new comedians I have crushes on. 

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L: Preparing for old age. R: Johnny Ater shows Poland Springs
what it really means to be from Maine.

Saturday, we played more shuffleboard, more tennis, walked around town a bit, then went to jump off a cliff into a pool of freezing cold mountain waterfall water called Frenchman’s Hole. I opted out, but all the crazy people I was hanging out with jumped in, save one or two other brainy ones.

IMG_4866A fashion disaster a concerned comedian pal talked me out of purchasing.

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L: Frenchman’s Hole R: Dry, smart people and one daredevil. 

We headed back to the Inn with a quick stop for some very tasty barbecue made out of a small, fluorescent orange trailer, then basked in the setting sun, goofing off like children.

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L: BBQ in a trailer. R: My boring white girl tag.

The show followed, and it was very long but wonderful. Jessica Kirson really killed the crowd as the headliner. My set was fine, but I felt a little bit out of practice. I still sold like 8 pairs of my I Love My Vagina underwear and a bunch of CDs, though, so there was that. 

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A bunch of happy customers.

It was sad on Sunday to eat breakfast for the last day of our gathering, then hit the road headed south.

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Our last breakfast together as a group. See how sad we all are?

I had such a great time and made some new BFFs who I think I’ll stay in touch with for years to come. If you ever get a chance to go to the Maine Comedy Festival in Bethel, just do it. As a matter of fact, start planning now. You will not regret it. Wow. What a shindig!

In a few weeks I’ll head for the U.K. for End of the Road fest and a few other gigs. I’ll see you in England…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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