My visit to the Vacationland: High School reunion and Maine Comedy Festival


Holy crikies, what a wonderful past couple weeks it’s been.

I zipped up to Maine last week to visit my alma mater (does that work for high school and college?) and have my high school reunion with my fellow Lincoln Eagles. It was really trippy hanging out with all these people I used to know as kids. Some looked really great and some looked…well…beaten about a bit by life. But it was great to see them all.

My home town, Damariscotta, Maine



We got a tour of our old high school, which was petrifying and thrilling all at once.



Here I am, sitting on “the wall” with Beth Souza, well before Game of Thrones. My old high school pals Cara and Gwen had a great time, because there was alcohol.

After the tour, we had a little reception and then moved to a nearby restaurant where one of my old classmates pulled some schemes and got me up on stage to perform. I have a video of it and I may even post it. I didn’t want to perform, I was scared to get on stage in front of my classmates for some reason. But ultimately, I’m glad I did. My old pal Sumner then took the stage and played some songs on guitar while I sang. It was ethereal. The fish and chips wasn’t bad, either.




Class of ’94

My husband and I camped out because I missed the boat on getting a cabin by waiting too long. So we slept in a tent on the ground, which was actually quite fabulous, until it started pouring rain. But before the torrential showers, we’d picked up lots of goodies from Trader Joe’s and cooked up a couple pretty dope meals over open fires we started with ease. I still got it! The site we were camped in had a spread of mushrooms, everywhere–dozens of different types and colors surrounded the tent.


L: Don’t know what it is, but wouldn’t eat it.
R: Am pretty sure what it is (psilocybin?) but still wouldn’t eat it.

I went to the library to teach a ukulele class and while I was there, I grabbed a mushroom identity book. I seriously think I ID’d psilocybin but there was no way I was going to test it. Been there, done that, done. I just looked at the pretty things and pretended I was a mycologist for 15 minutes. 

We drove around the midcoast area and enjoyed the sights in our rental car.


L: Hazy early morning old timey car in Bristol,
R: view of Christmas Cove in South Bristol (they get good pot there)

I love driving. I spotted a VW Vanagon bus and asked how much — $12,000! Youch. I fell in love with the old thing but yikes. If anyone has a VW bus they’d like to donate to my festival, I will write you a charitable tax deduction receipt. Let’s tawk.

IMG_4786Want a tax deductible receipt for your VW Bus? Call me.

We stopped at a giant pile of garbage and bought a bunch of it, as I like to do. I got some cool vintage clothing and a unicorn pin. Once the rain began coming down, we split and headed back to NYC to wait it out.


Only $3, good deal, right?!

A few days later, I hopped into a car with a couple strangers and headed north to Bethel, ME where Sunday River is located, to romp about in the Maine Comedy Festival.

IMG_4831Not the car I hopped into.

It was so much fun, way more so than your typical comedy event, and I love comedy and festivals. On Thursday night, we arrived at the large Bethel Inn and Resort which immediately gave off a haunted vibe, just in time to play poker, which I promptly lost at.

L: Excellent booze slinger. R: Excellent poker player.

Mark from Sobieski vodka, the fest’s sponsor was there buying me lots more alcohol than I’m supposed to drink on a school night. I stumbled to my room and crashed out, late. 

The next day, I got up early and had a wonderful hotel breakfast on par with the 4 Seasons. My new comedian pals and I played shuffleboard and tennis, then we went and jumped into a pristine lake. I swam far from one dock to the next and baked in the sun like a warm seal. Later, we watched half our peers do their show, which was fantastic. I now have 5-7 new comedians I have crushes on. 


L: Preparing for old age. R: Johnny Ater shows Poland Springs
what it really means to be from Maine.

Saturday, we played more shuffleboard, more tennis, walked around town a bit, then went to jump off a cliff into a pool of freezing cold mountain waterfall water called Frenchman’s Hole. I opted out, but all the crazy people I was hanging out with jumped in, save one or two other brainy ones.

IMG_4866A fashion disaster a concerned comedian pal talked me out of purchasing.


L: Frenchman’s Hole R: Dry, smart people and one daredevil. 

We headed back to the Inn with a quick stop for some very tasty barbecue made out of a small, fluorescent orange trailer, then basked in the setting sun, goofing off like children.


L: BBQ in a trailer. R: My boring white girl tag.

The show followed, and it was very long but wonderful. Jessica Kirson really killed the crowd as the headliner. My set was fine, but I felt a little bit out of practice. I still sold like 8 pairs of my I Love My Vagina underwear and a bunch of CDs, though, so there was that. 

A bunch of happy customers.

It was sad on Sunday to eat breakfast for the last day of our gathering, then hit the road headed south.


Our last breakfast together as a group. See how sad we all are?

I had such a great time and made some new BFFs who I think I’ll stay in touch with for years to come. If you ever get a chance to go to the Maine Comedy Festival in Bethel, just do it. As a matter of fact, start planning now. You will not regret it. Wow. What a shindig!

In a few weeks I’ll head for the U.K. for End of the Road fest and a few other gigs. I’ll see you in England…











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Big Secret Hush Hush Ssshhh Shut Up CD Release Party

JD download hipster

Saturday, June 28th
$10 includes CD + food
Pre-order your CD here (out of town, too)
email $10 to jessdelfino at gmail dot com
**Secret location will be sent out to you**

Want a little sample? 
Free song download:

Guys! Guess what? I’m so excited about my new CD coming out. I haven’t put out a CD in ages and I’m psyched about this one. Is it going to be a big hit? I’ve been doing this for long enough to know that the chances of that happening are a) almost zero, b) unimportant and c) I don’t care anymore. The TRUTH is that there’s nothing else I can do in this world but what I do. I’ve been fired from every job I’ve ever had, and connecting with people through music, my art and my mind is my life and my passion. I am thrilled if you appreciate what I do. And if you don’t, you know. Fuck off and stuff.

I just want the people who like my music to have the CD, and I want to have made some more art to add to this sinking ship before it goes down in flames. Maybe some day, an alien will find my CD in a thrift shop on Mars and think it would make a super cool coaster.

Regardless, I have something special planned, because I like special stuff and surprises and stuff. So, please save the date and pre-order a CD so I know how many CDs and how much food to feed you. Also, please note if you are a carnivore or a vegivore or a veganvore.

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Back from LA; Hustling Super Hard in Prep for NY Funny Songs Fest

The NY Funny Songs Fest is upon us for the 3rd year in a row. It will take place Thursday May 29 to Saturday May 31, 2104. I’m supposed to release the calendar tomorrow and it’s almost done but damn, there are a ton of people in this festival. It’s a lot of work. Luckily I have a good team of people helping because there’s no way I could do this alone, unless I had a magic wand and let’s say a brick or so of cocaine. I’ve never used cocaine but I’ve heard about the stuff. I can keep it more PG and more acceptable–what’s that drug that all the real estate agents do? It’s like cocaine but it’s legal and in pill form. Ah, forget it. My point is, I’m swamped.

Part of the reason I’m behind is that I have been gone much of the year. December and January I spent in Iceland, Copenhagen and Italy. March I was at SXSW in Austin. The end of April, I spent in LA. But it’s coming along, and it’s almost here.

I had a blast in LA. I met Dr. Demento and set up a celebrity scavenger hunt event for Quentin Tarantino, like he doesn’t have anything better to do. I was filmed for the Meep Morp Dr. Demento documentary and I visited a bunch of old pals I haven’t seen in awhile. I went to the beach, I sang “Thank you for being a friend” at Estelle Getty’s tomb stone, and I made a video about it all, which you can see here.

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JD Does LA April 23-28, 2014

ukelele hawaii

It’s true. I’m going out west where I, well, I don’t know if I’d say “belong”, but where I want to be right now. I’ve lived in NYC for 13 years this August and I’m still in love with the city but I’m at the point where I need a break about every 3 months. Except that I was just in Austin in March. So, maybe it’s every 30 days.

Regardless, I’ll be there! And I want to see YOU. Here is my LA wish list:

- have great audiences at my shows
- surf
- sell the TV show I’m pitching
- eat really good food
- swim at the Standard Hotel
- meet new friends and spend time with old ones
- fraternize with Quentin Tarantino, Wes Anderson and David Lynch (are they friends?)
- get a tan
- write at least 1 song about California
- drive on the PCH in a muscle car
- Dr. Luke will become my new best friend at the ASCAP expo

That’s pretty much it. Am I missing anything? Friends! I am a big supporter of DOING THINGS on my adventures, so email me and tell me about your show / picnic / beach house / party / dog / favorite coffee shop and I want to check it out. I also want lots and lots of stage time so please tell me about that, too.

Here’s my Facebook event page with all the events and shows I have planned:

And I posted my dates below, as well.

Email me at mail at jessicadelfino dot com and tell me wut is wut.
See you so soon!


Wed, April 23
9 PM
Show: Uncle Lou’s Safe Place
Echoes Under Sunset
1310 Glendale Blvd.

Thurs, April 24
12 PM
I’ll be attending the ASCAP I Create Music Expo, join me!

Also on Thurs, April 24
7 PM
Josh and Josh Show
Bar Lubitsch
7702 Santa Monica Blvd

Also on Thurs, April 24
10 PM
Genghis Cohen Restaurant, Bar & Music
740 N. Fairfax Ave
featuring Kelly Dwyer and Scout Durwood!

Sunday, April 27
10:30 PM
The Comedy Music Circus
ioWest – Mainstage

Monday, April 28
7 PM
Show: Kurt Braunholer & Kristen Schaal’s Hot Tub
The Virgil
4519 Santa Monica Blvd

Monday, April 28
10:30 PM
The SetList

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Neighborhood Casinos?

Walking around my neighborhood late at night, I keep seeing weird little casinos here and there. I am not sure if they are legal or not, but I see the door open and people playing cards and what have you. I want to stick my head in and ask if I can throw down a $20 but I’m afraid I’ll get yelled at in Mandarin.

Plus, I think that there’s a dress code to these places. I noticed that in Atlantic City, it seems to range from sun visors, pleated pants, fanny packs and nurse sneakers to straight up Armani suits. But in my hood, they are dressed up in that model-esque look of indie tee shirts cool hats.

Besides my neighborhood and Atlantic City, where else does one gamble? I remember seeing slightly covert yet quite visible casinos in Ireland, we all know that cruise ships are essentially floating casinos, and who of us hasn’t heard of Mohegan Sun? Yet you apparently can also gamble online if you don’t want to have to look at people’s horrible faces. I can totally relate. One place my friend loves to online gamble at is I’ve really only ever gambled with my dad and other drunk dudes in the form of basement cards at family gatherings. I remember playing a card game with my dad where he was dealing. I’ll never be able to wash the sound out of my ears of him exclaiming, “In this round, Soul Sistas are wild, talkin’ bout black queens!”

I was thinking of having a birthday party at one of the local casinos in my neighborhood if I can make it work. If not, maybe I’ll just have a casino themed birthday party. That’d be fun. I could make one of those spinny wheels (is that Craps?) and have a pro dealer. I could insist on 70s polyester wardrobe only and play the movie Casino on a big screen. I actually met a pro casino card dealer once at one of my shows. She made serious bank and said she dealt at private parties, too. I like the idea of calling my birthday party, “Oh, Craps: A Whole Nother Year, GONE!”

Some back up options are,

“It’s Jessica Delfino’s Birthday Party, DEAL WITH IT!”

“She’s Quite A Card: Jessica Delfino’s Birthday Party!”

“Her Slot Is Still Magic: Delfino’s Turning 30 something!”

I think the first one (Oh, Craps) is my favorite.

What would you call my Casino themed birthday party? Answer in the comments below. C’mon, you know your idea is the best one of them all.

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South By South WOWZERS

IMG_2071IMG_1991IMG_2052   IMG_2049

The NY Funny Songs Fest hit the road last week to rock out at SXSW and to sum it up in 4 words, I’ll just say 1. It 2. Was 3. A 4. Blast.


A few New Yorkers even joined me in my adventures. Kelly Dwyer, Ross Plotkin and Camille Harris toted instruments, glittered outfits and themselves down to Austin and together, we promoted the mission of the Funny Songs Fest: to find funny musicians and to share funny songs. You can see our names below on Post-Its. Here’s a video that Post-It made for the NY Funny Songs Fest.

IMG_2043  IMG_2046
IMG_2044  IMG_2061

We performed at a bunch of venues, including The New Movement Theater, DailyMotion’s event at The Hideout, Austin Pride’s RAWK show, Buzz Kill at the Buzz Mill (a great comedy show) and other stages, living rooms, nooks and crannies. My dear artist pal (and our festival logo designer) Polina Vo and Camille’s mom and husband also came down to party with us.



Here is a photo of the cute fortune cookies Polina made to hand out to new friends.

Some of the highlights for the festival for me personally were hanging out with old and new friends at Esther’s Follies, hanging out at The New Movement Theater and seeing and meeting all the comedians there, Chris Gethard’s show where the audience turned him into a human sundae (and then got to take a bite), all the free yummy food everywhere (Late Night with Seth Myers gave out Shake Shack burgers and fries!).


Paul Provenza’s Setlist show was awesome and featured TJ Miller and others who were really great, the #KegsNEggs Comedy Central party rocked, free cab rides home by Uber after partying late into the night were much appreciated, seeing the last half of Hannibal Burress’s new movie “Live from Chicago” was awesome, hanging out with friends and seeing Chromeo at the Fader Tent, who I really  liked, attending the brunch music event at Four Seasons and seeing rapper Schoolboy Q at the Soundcloud tent. I also loved the trade show. The festival was just so much fun from top to bottom. So much good stuff happened, I can’t even really remember it all. But that could also be the booze. Though I didn’t drink a ton. Or maybe I did, who knows? Maybe all the alcohol I drank is just clouding my memory. If you’ve never been to SXSW, you must go next year. Just buy your plane tickets now.

IMG_2141 IMG_2143

Here I am having breakfast at the Four Seasons. No, I am NOT hung over at all. That band played at the music brunch. They were great. I forget their name.

Here are the donuts my friends and I ate at 3 am at Gordo’s evil donut truck.

IMG_2139 IMG_2003


Here is a very handsome man who gave the festival attendees free sausages.

IMG_1977 IMG_2127


Here are two of the breakfasts my Austin host made for me. Gotta love that Southern hospitality, RIGHT!?!



Here is the super awesome gentleman who gave me free rides all over Austin. Just because.


Here’s a little SXSW coverage video I had a cameo in.

Here is some local Austin art.



Here I am in a money booth, grabbing all the free money I could grab. Yes. That was a thing at SXSW. I snagged $25.



Here is my new Austin friend Chloe who I adore. We didn’t get to see 2Chainz but we will. Oh, we will.



This is a picture of a little guy who didn’t make it through the festival. :( RIP little lizard.


If you want to learn more about the NY Funny Songs Fest, you can visit our websites. We’ll be in Philly at the end of March, in LA at the end of April, in NYC at the end of May and Montreal at the end of July. Submissions are now open, by the way.

All festival long, people were making up SXSW words. Some worked, some didn’t. The free sausage truck I liked a lot did #SXSWurst. A comedian called the fest the #SXSworst. I overheard a passerby call it #SXSBreast. I titled this piece, #SXSWowzers.

Go on, add your own in the comments. You know you want to.

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Boogie With Flu

This year’s flu has a real attitude problem. If it’s a “she”, she’s suffering from severe PMS. If it’s a “he”, he hasn’t gotten laid in awhile. Whatever the deal is, this invisible little creep is a killer. It found it’s way into my body unfortunately and I’ve been struggling with it for a week now. But I’ve found some tricks and I’d like to share them with you so that if you get this terrible house guest, you and your immune system will be better poised to deal with it. I am not a doctor, I’m just a big sister and an experienced flu victim. If you are in need of serious medical attention, don’t be a boner, as my dad used to love to say. Just go to the Emergency room, and toot sweet. But if you think you just need a little TLC and some good flu tips, read on.

1. Don’t even try to do anything. Just cancel your plans for a week. But Jessica, how am I supposed to pay my bills? Figure it out later. Chances are, the monster will leave you immobile as it did me, so that even if you did want to go to work, you’ll be incapable of doing anything other than whimpering “mommy” while your nose drips like a literal faucet. Plus, sharing is caring except when the flu is concerned.

2. Splurge, go on and get the Puffs Plus. As aforementioned, your nose will run like someone left the water on. You will blow and wipe it so raw that it will resemble roast beef by the time you’re done with it. So might I suggest a very soft and delicate tissue?
Between blowings, use some lotion or Vaseline on your poor schnoz.

3. If you can, go to a doctor or a family doc pal, get a prescription bottle of promethazine with codeine. It is the only thing that will allow you to sleep besides straight up sleeping pills. It also keeps you from coughing. Promethazine is an anti-histamine, which is listed as one of the few drugs that will help you to find relief from the flu.

4. Zinc and C it up, sure, why not, but what will really help is rest. Just sleep. Sleep in the morning, sleep in the afternoon. If you start feeling ok and think about doing some laundry or going to meet a friend for lunch, don’t. Just. sleep. Sleep all day. Sleep as much as you can while you can because when you want to sleep on purpose, you will be coughing too much to be able to sleep.

5. Next year, get the flu shot. No, it won’t give you the flu and it probably won’t give you any other creepy size affects. Just take it. Especially if you’re pregnant.

6. If you have anyone who can help you, mom, dad, friend, child, husband, implore them to do so. You can’t handle this beast on your own.

7. Stay hydrated. I recommend Gatorade, diet Ginger Ale and seltzer water. Orange Juice is also soothing on the throat and water yourself like you’re a plant. Constantly be sipping something. If you are sleeping and you wake up, drink something. No booze. Not even hot toddy’s. Plan to pretty much just eat liquid and soups for the next week. Perk: You will lose about 3-5 pounds.

8. Ibuprofen every 6 hours. If you get a fever, and you probably will (I had one of 103 for several days), take Ibuprofen every 6 hours until it breaks. Also, if you don’t already have one, buy a thermometer.

9. While you’re at the store getting Puffs Plus, just splurge and get the following items: cough drops, liquid beverages and soups, your favorite decongestants and any comfort items like a magazine though you won’t really be well enough to read it for days. Spoil yourself a little because you may be facing armageddon with this one.

10. Hang in there and don’t lose hope. When your face is throbbing with the pain of a small truck being parked on it, and you’re coughing up blood and stuff that will scare and sicken you to know it came from your body, just remember that you are healthy and this is the natural course of the flu. Stay positive and take this time to treat yourself well.

11. Meditate. If you’re about to lose your mind because you haven’t slept right for a week and your body aches and you can’t take it any more, try closing your eyes, taking a deep breath and just trying to meditate–that is, relax, breathe in and out, focus on the sounds of your breath and nothing more. If thoughts come to you, let them come and go. I meditated to try to sleep one night and met a spirit guide for the first time. His name was Val and he was from New Jersey. It was probably flu induced mania and hallucinations from not sleeping properly for days, but it was a fun experience. Maybe you too, will find your spirit guide during the flu.

12. Don’t spread the flu. Stay home. Try to limit your interactions with innocent bystanders. Wash your hands a lot. Don’t touch your eyes and stuff and then touch the refrigerator. If you cough, cover your mouth with the inside of your armpit. The flu virus can live for 2-8 hours on a surface. Spray things with Lysol and laugh with glee as you devastate a whole colony of tiny would be assassins. If your kids have the flu, don’t take them to music lessons.

They say that this year’s flu was especially hard on “young people” for some reason, so if you got the flu and it’s really hard on you, hey, at least you’re (probably) still young. Don’t forget to rest, stay hydrated and stay positive and you’ll kick this bug’s butt and fast.

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The No Pants Subway Ride Naples, Italy Makes National News

JDNaplesSubwayNoPantsGuitarphotos by Alex M. Smith

I don’t know how it happened, because it almost ended in complete disaster. I showed up at Piazza Dante at 3 PM like I said I would, wearing pink so I could be identified. I set up my guitar and started playing some songs, thinking that would also help people be able to find me. No one approached except a few passers by who wanted to hear me play guitar. Then, a man came over and identified himself as a journalist. He said that he had come from to make a video about the event, which he’d seen an invite to on Facebook.

Four people had confirmed to join me and one even emailed me saying he’d definitely be there. But no one showed. So I waited for awhile, hemming and hawing. Should I do this alone? I thought to myself. What if I get arrested? What if people get mad and start throwing bibles at me? Eh, fuck it, I decided, and headed into the subway to depant. The journalist decided he’d join me which made me excited and also nervous. What if this became an international disaster? I pushed my fears down and looked at the bright side: at least I’d have someone present to translate for me in case I got arrested.

I went down into the subway and followed directions like they’d been outlined on Improv Everywhere. They said to enter the car and just take off your pants like nothing was wrong. So that’s what I did. I decided I’d take off my pants and play some songs. The people were so fun! They were clapping and laughing and some cute kids even came over and gave me change. But at the end of it all, I walked up the subway stairs to get confronted by two uniformed men. They started yelling at me at very close range in Italian. From their hand motions, I could tell they were asking me what the hell I thought I was doing.



Luckily, my journalist friend helped me translate. He would bicker with them for ten minutes at a time, and then turn to me and clue me in, with tidbits like, “They want to know if you take off your clothes for money”, or “They ask what your husband thinks about this”. The biggest, scariest looking one kept staring at me with giant DeNiro-y eyes and making a joined wrists motion at me, the international symbol for “You are going to jail”. I tried to stay calm and eventually, my journalist friend told me that we’d have to delete the footage. He went into the booth with them and it appeared he was deleting his footage. I was totally bummed about the experience. It left me feeling sad.

Once outside, the journalist made us promise that we wouldn’t share our version of the video, which Alex had on his camera, which was hidden, so the men never bothered him about it. He said that if we shared it he’d get in trouble and maybe we’d get arrested at the airport when we tried to leave. We promised we wouldn’t share any videos or photos.

Monday came and went, and the news was ablaze about No Pants Subway Ride. There were photos of all these people all over the news and internet, pantsless, having fun, and I was like, “Damn, I wish I had been in NYC, this would have been such a better scene.”

Then this morning, an Italian friend sent me a link. He said, “Looks like your hijinks made the news after all!” I clicked and was delighted to see the video made not just one site but so many, and the largest Italian papers.

Happy ending. I think. But now there’s the dilemma. How the hell did this footage get out? We kept our promise. Did the guy have a back up copy? Did he pretend it was erased so that Alex wouldn’t share his? Did the subway people leak it to the media. WHAT HAPPENED?

I also heard that yesterday it was in every newspaper. I looked around today for a copy but they had all been thrown away.

If any Italians happen to be reading this and have a copy of the paper with me in it, please let me know!

This ordeal was so much fun, I’m thinking when I get home of playing guitar with no pants on in Times Square, like the Naked Cowboy. I heard there’s a girl doing it though, is that true? Naked Cowgirl? Maybe I’ll do it in Tompkins Square Park or Astor Place instead…


Below, enjoy some of the videos and links:–naples–italia-2014-e194589#.UtUsdXkt31o–2223912756760.shtml–2223912756760.shtml

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The Global No Pants Subway Ride – Featuring Napoli (Naples) Italy 2014

No pants italy

If you happen to be in Naples (or Milan, or anywhere) this Sunday, check out the global No Pants Subway Ride. Basically, people ride the subway in their underwear. There’s no message. It’s just for fun. You can participate or just watch and enjoy the silliness of it all.

If you’d like to participate, click here to find a city that is having an event (many cities are participating).

The ride takes place THIS SUNDAY, JAN 12th! In Naples, we’ll be meeting at Piazza Dante at 3 PM sharp.

To be involved or attend or watch the Naples event, just show up at Piazza Dante normally dressed except in underwear instead of pants on Sunday, January 12th at 3 PM. You can also RSVP here at the Facebook event. There will be an after party and live musical performance afterwards. Check the Facebook event for location and details. This event is free of charge. If you have any questions, you can email jessdelfino @ gmail dot com. Thanks and see you there!

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Hot Times In Europe! Adventure Rundown

Buonjourno! I am currently writing to you from aboard del treno Frecciargento. It’s a high speed train that zips across the Italian countryside. It wasn’t cheap either. We’re headed from Rome to Venice, another city I’ve never been to. I’m way behind on updating because I’ve been having too much fun (and too little internet access).

When I last left off, my man and I had left Reykjavik and driven through a harrowing storm to a rented a cabin in Akureyri.

dogpooI’m not quite sure what this sign is trying to say, but that dog is beautiful.

Once in Akureyri, we immediately got snowed way the hell in. Now, when people talk about getting “snowed in”, they mean a quaint spritzing of a few inches, or maybe a big old storm dropping half a foot! But we’re talking about a real live blizzard of the likes that OL’ ICELAND hadn’t even seen in a century.

IMG_0754Somewhere under all that snow is beautiful downtown Akureyri

Look. Snow.

X100S_VACATION_131222_356A panoramic view of Akureyri. Before the snow.

alexnjessntrollAlex and I with one of the 13 Yule Lads, the Sausage Stealer troll Bjugnakraekir in the background.

IMG_0669IMG_0698Above, Alex is driving really well through a blizzard. Here’s a sign en route to Myvatn.

When it wasn’t blizzarding, it was actually pretty beautiful.

Back to our story! We’d managed to get our poor rented Subaru stuck up to its’ wheel tops in the densest snow I’ve ever seen and on a sloping hill. We tried to dig it out for hours and finally gave up. There was nowhere to go, as everything was closed for the holidays, and really nothing to do but bang, for days on end. Tragic. Eventually, we went for a walk just for a change of scenery. While we were out, we happened upon a man driving his jeep. I stopped him to ask if he knew anyone on the mountain with a plow who could come by. “I’ll be right back,” he responded coldly. Moments later, he arrived in the giantest green snow monster machine I’d ever seen a person casually own, and cleared the driveway like a beast.


Finally we were free! But since the town was shut down and the snowball sized snowflakes kept falling and falling, with no plan to stop, we decided it was best to just stay put.

Luckily, we’d bought lots of wine, beer, food and whiskey because we knew we might be snowed in for awhile. We cooked glorious meals and watched Christmas themed movies we’d pre-downloaded such as Scrooged, Home Alone and more. We also watched Gravity which was so dumb. I just didn’t get the appeal. “Oooh, look at the fake effects!” America is so simple. 97% on Rotten Tomatoes? WTF. Only me and the NY Times film editor disliked it. Guess we’re the dummies. However, I must admit, I love that George Clooney, what a charmer. Every day I turn more and more into an Aunt.

We also watched an old classic favorite, Catch Me If You Can, which I forgot is kind of a Christmas movie. It’s pretty much the only Leonardo DiCaprio movie I can stand, although once upon a time I enjoyed What’s Eating Gilbert Grape. There’s just something about the guy’s face that irks me. Maybe it’s that every time I look at him, I’m reminded that I’m not his girlfriend. Whatever! I’m married to a pretty great dude. I mean, we took a trip to Europe together for Christmas. And he’s skinny and hot. So looks like I win after all, DiCaprio. In your face!

Next door to us on Christmas Eve, some guests arrived. We became friendly and hung out with them on Christmas night, drinking until the guys decided to take their pants off and straddle a giant snow man that had been built on the back porch. It was a beautiful moment. I have a photo but Alex won’t let me share it because he’s a big party pooper. He said maybe later.

The next morning, early, we woke up and dug the car out again. The snowball sized snowflakes had not stopped falling, but we had to return to Reykjavik because we had a plane to catch to Copenhagen.

We drove the horrifying road back through the mountains, which was covered in snow as fist sized snowflakes continued to hammer us. I have pretty much never been more petrified in my life as we skidded and slid along the icy road with steep mountainous slopes on either side of us, AND THEN THE WINDSHIELD WIPERS STOPPED WORKING. I made a video of it, just in case we were found in a ravine. I will share it soon.

Slowly, we made our way back to civilization. Eventually, we out drove the storm and the rest of the drive was quite nice, with picturesque Icelandic sunsets and clear, starry skies.


That evening, we had dinner at a local restaurant and stayed in a charming hotel with a hot rock bath in the back yard. We lied in steaming water while looking up at the sky, praying Aurora would give us a wink, but she just had no interest in showing off that night. So we cuddled up into what might have been the most comfortable bed I’ve ever slept in and fell into a deep sleep that only lasted a few hours, because we had to get up at 5 am to get our plane.

We arrived in Copenhagen to the place we’d stay, an AirBnB apartment rented by a Danish woman. We were informed upon arriving via email that she had to leave in a rush so the apartment and bed sheets would be dirty, so we were prepared for the mess that we encountered, but we weren’t prepared for the other annoyances that came along with the place, like loud trashy music being blasted by neighbors, and gross monkey sex sounds coming from below pretty much every night. Luckily, we weren’t around much to have to endure the short comings of the rental, and it wasn’t completely without its charms. It was located in a very cute neighborhood called Fredericksburg or something like that. We spent our few days there roaming through Christiania, the hash / DIY hippie area of town, looking at the beautiful architecture, drinking with the locals at the various bars (we even did our laundry like real live locals at their weird Laundromat, I hope I didn’t pick up some kind of creepy flesh disease!).

IMG_0899Fallen signage in Christiana, my new favorite place in the world

I performed one night at a cool space about a mile away from us. It was a small crowd but very awesome. The other performers and audience members were from all over the world and I made new friends, sold several CDs and really enjoyed the vibe of the room.

While in the city, I discovered a delicious baked treat that looked and tasted kind of like a pop tart. I never learned its actual name, but I heard it said once, and it was something I couldn’t pronounce properly if I tried.

IMG_0871  IMG_0911Polar bear in the Copenhagen zoo and their terrific Ooops! brand toilet paper.

IMG_0917A delicious bread, olive, fish and cheese meal we had one night in Copenhagen.


This is what I took from visiting Copenhagen:

-       Everything there is super expensive, even more expensive than New York City. Sushi rolls are $30 each.

-       Scandinavia doesn’t really do decaf.

-       Tomatoes and all vegetables taste really fresh and delicious.

-       They don’t have as many choices of things as we have in America.

-       The city is very bike friendly. Most people have kid carts on their bikes and roll around with a baby on board. The bike lanes are alongside the sidewalk and everyone is very award of the bicyclists.

-       It takes about 5.5 Danish krones to make 1 American dollar. So everything has crazy numbers on it. For example, you see a pair of boots for sale and they are 1000. So you have to divide in your head by about 5 or 6 to figure out how much it is.

-       The Danes keep really weird store hours. I visited one shoe store 3 or 4 times over the course of 4 days and never found it open. Gates were over many of the stores for days on end. Maybe it was because it was around Christmas, but still. Unacceptable. I guess it’s better that way, though, because I couldn’t really figure out how to convert dollars to krones very well, anyway. I should have paid more attention in skool.

-       I didn’t find the Scandinavian people in general to be very nice. They weren’t mean, but they weren’t warm or chatty. The few times I had to ask a question or something, they were kind enough and responsive, but short and busy. We didn’t really make any friends while we were there.

-       There was lots of graffiti.


Cool Copenhagen graffiti.

-       The Danes are a very stylish lot, though they’re wearing those baggy pants that American women thought were cool like a year ago. Everyone dresses like an adult, no ripped jeans or dyed hair, really.

After our time in Copenhagen, we had a relatively painless flight to Italy. I hate flying, so I on board, I like to do things like try to sleep and fail, watch movies and get torn out of them with just about any little bump of turbulence, and make deals with God. Flying with me is a lot of fun. Luckily for me, it was a short flight and the skies were nice and blue. We landed in Rome on New Year’s Eve and got set up in our hotel, which was one block away from the coliseum. We could see it from the front door of our hotel. We dropped our crap off and hauled ass over to the ancient ruins to walk around the thing 5 or 6 times and stare in awe and wonder. That evening, we’d be returning to watch the fireworks display over the giant relic, so we ducked into a local wine bar, where we drank delicious red wine and discovered scrumptious  “salty rings”, basically pretzels that look like calamari. Yum! Get on board, America.

We chatted with the local behind the bar and he told us about a fun party we should check out later. We made a note and bid him bonjourno. My husband thought it’d be a great idea to pick up a bottle of whiskey at the airport, so he had that in his pocket. We settled into a nice ridge of rocks and waited for the fireworks. As we waited, we noticed everyone was wearing flashing bunny ears and drinking openly, which is fine to do in most places except America, apparently. Some people waved laser pointers, some posed for photos in front of the Coliseum and drank beers. A couple who sat next to us started chatting with us in broken English and we quickly became friends. We shared drinks and potato chips and watched the beautiful fireworks display together. I’ve never been so close to such lovely explosions. They went off seemingly just feet above my face, trails of colored fire falling from the sky as if it might hit me in the eyeball, but I couldn’t move. I was enraptured.

After, our new friends turned to us and we think they asked if we’d like to go drink together. We were probably right, because that’s what we ended up doing. We all got very drunk, and slowly, our walking posse grew. We met another couple from Amsterdam and they joined our drunken gang. Six of us roamed the streets, looking for fun.


Here we try to haggle cheaper beer prices at an Italian gruppo.

Along the way, we met up with two local girls who mentioned they were headed to the party that the wine bar guy told us about. I squealed when I heard the name, saying I heard of the party. They looked very cool and insisted we tag along, so I knew it was going to be fun.


Here is half of our posse, enjoying ourselves at the really cool party.





In short, by the time we got there, many of us were pretty much trashed. Now I understand why it’s not legal to walk and drink in the USA. I somehow can sneak into any party, ever, it’s one of my gifts, and somehow, I was also able to sneak all 8 of us into this wild party in another country, even with it’s line down the road and around the block. It was a terrifically fun dance party, and now I am convinced I should probably be a spy or something.

There’s so much more but I have to go now. We have arrived in Venice. More pics and tales to come!

IMG_1061Alex and I enjoying fireworks in front of the Coliseum, Rome, Italy.
Blurry faced and drunk-ish.

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