I took my 1 year old into a toy store on a whim, just to take a walk through and see if anything caught his eye. At home, his favorite toys are empty plastic bottles, anything gross and whatever he shouldn’t be touching. “What toys do you like?” I asked W, carrying him close to the toy-lined shelf. “Do you see anything fun?” I hoped he might reach out of my arms and select something that appealed to him but I didn’t expect him to do so, and I was actually kind of surprised when he leaned over and grabbed a little creature that looked like a rabbit person with big striped ears, a pink bobble head, a yellow face, a white body and purple shoes. His touch set her off, and she began playing high energy dance music, and singing and talking, very loudly. Her stomach had what I could best describe as a dancing rave party light that sent him into a trance. I had no idea what she was saying, it sounded like gibberish to me, but he was clearly stricken.
I walked around the store, offering him the opportunity to touch other toys but he wouldn’t let the rabbit person creature go. Another mom saw the thing in my son’s hand. “My daughter loves that toy,” she said to me. “It keeps her busy for like 20 minutes and I can actually get something done.” I was intrigued, then immediately felt guilty about it, intrigued, then felt guilty…I hated the idea of liking the thought of my kid being occupied by some dumb toy so I could have less than 100% concentration on him for 15 minutes but then again, sometimes it’s nice to poop without a baby on your lap, you know?
I plunked down the $12.99 for the toy and hoped I wouldn’t regret purchasing it. I kept it out of sight until we were in a safe place, imagining some knucklehead yelling, “Shut that god damn thing off!”, ripping it out of W’s hand and chucking it down the street, because it was that loud and annoying. But again, baby boy liked it so…, and the thought of pooping without a infant on my lap was just too enticing.
When we got home I took the toy out for him and he went frickin’ nuts. He was laughing and holding it like I imagine a cave man held the women they chose to possess. He dragged the thing around the house as it yelled and sang, “Clap clap clap to the beat!” and “Beatdown! Beatdown!” What did it say? What was it saying?
I looked up the toy and found the name of the toy was “Bright Beats TM Juniors” and she was saying her name, “BeatBelle“. I also learned there was a boy version, and his name is BeatBo. There are 2 sizes, a small one and a big one, and the big one dances and apparently the kids love to dance with them.
So if you’re headed to the party of a child of a frenemy or boss you don’t really like, I very strongly recommend showing up with this thing in hand. The kid will love it, and it will drive everyone else a little nuts.