Oh my god! Oh my dog! Dog my god! Ohhhh!!! Ohhhhhhh!!!!!!!! Last night while the world was watching SB47 (which sounds like the name of the asteroid that almost hit us last month) and all the craziness that ensued, Dr. Demento — THE Mr. Dr. Demento — was introducing my song, “I Hate Everybody” with Rich Russo on RichRusso.net. I first heard about it from @OddLane via Twitter so I did a little research, found the podcast and listened to it — it was awesome — there’s a reason so many people love the guy, he’s just so interesting and knowledgable about novelty music — and later in the show, around the 1:19:15 mark, he introduced me in just the sweetest, most adorable way. I actually got misty eyed and goose bumpled hearing that voice that I first listened to as a 5 year old say my name and the name of my song and talk about the NY Funny Songs Fest. It was so surreal. That’s why I live in NYC, I tell myself. That’s why I pay a bajillion dollars a month for rent, and work well over 40 hours a work going to auditions, teaching music lessons, producing shows, performing in shows, writing songs, rehearsing, practicing songs and bits, planning a festival, taking classes about how to do everything from fundraise to operate Final Cut Pro — for the little magical moments, just like the one that happened tonight. I guess Super Bowel Sunday was a pretty special night after all.
If you’ve been following my blog, this has been a pretty cool week. And yesterday, I auditioned for that crazy “America’s Got Talent” show, only because I was invited to. They asked me to perform, “My P—- Is Magic” but change the words to “My You Know What Is Magic”. Artistic integri-who? “Sure, no problem,” I said, after thinking it over long and hard, for about 4 seconds. Megan and Laura, these amazing babes back up danced amazingly with awesome amazingness. I almost cried it was so good. We got an instant call back and now we just forget about it.
“My P—- Is Magic” is about to air in the UK on a tv show on Comedy Central soon (for the 2nd time) — get this — NO EDITS WHATSOEVER — but that’s fine, so America’s FCC and the national TV viewing public are mostly a bunch of sensitive puritans under the thumb of advertising bucks. It’s OK. So I changed the words. But – little known fact – I was born psychic, and I can already see the outcome:
I’m going to get cast on the show, both fortunately and unfortunately. Howard Stern will back me when he hears it. (Right, Howie?) He’ll say, “I remember a time when I was a rag tag snapper head, just trying to goof off and share my kooky sensibilities, and the man tried to hold me down, too, Delfino. If only my billions of dollars could change the FCC laws,” he’ll say. And then we’ll high five and get drunk together.
All the exposure from the show is going to bring in beaucoup dollars and change my life in profound ways. I’ll give a lot of money to charity, make my Dirty Folk Rock special which will air on Comedy Central — or maybe IFC? I’ll go on to have a series, it will be an indie hit but not get the mainstream love it deserves. I will do TV stuff for a few years, maybe have a little breakdown or get into some trouble, not sure which. I’ll make a few cult hit movies, have some kids and try to invest properly. About then, I’ll write a book or 3. I’ll toss a few hundy thou at the NYFSF and make that awesome, watch my kids grow up, get old and die in my high 80s.
Oooh, it’s so exciting! I’m so looking forward to seeing how it all unfolds…will keep you posted.